Stealthy Advertising

Did your parents ever disguise spinach, or beets, or some other food you didn't want to eat as something you enjoy?





Mine didn't either. But I've heard about it. Anyway, during our trip to Toronto, I noticed a mural painted on a wall. it was advertising a product while trying to look like graffitti. Ads are being disguised as anti-establishment action, such as grafitti. Once I saw this ad, I began to notice it more and more, such as a tampon commercial (I can't remember the brand so I can't find the video) where a boring tampon ad is covered with graffitti, in which a different, more exciting tampon mural is created to symbolize the individuality and artistry of having a period. This rattled with my head a bit, as I was trying to grasp the concept of turning art into a commercial strategy. They are using illegal acts to advertise, saying, in layman's terms, "Don't buy into big business. Buy from our big business." Anyone else see a problem in logic here? We're hip we're cool, we're in tune to youth needs. Buy our tampons.

It's not as one-sided as you might think.

The longest unit in media studies this semester was Gender Roles and Stereotypes, where we spent two months learning how women were objectified in the media. I vaguely remember a brief sidenote, saying 'Oh yeah, sometimes men are objectified too". Is this focus really deserved? As a guy I feel an enourmous pressure to be the fit, muscular alpha male constant depicted in every form of media that needs a male lead. However, this happens mostly in movies, with most young males preferring the big screen than newspapers or online media. muscleheads are everywhere in film. Even nerds are buff. In kickass, during one of the 'suit up' scenes (I couldn't find a better clip because the school blocks searches such ass 'kick ass', but this one works sufficiently) you can see that even Dave(kickass) , a social outcast is muscular under that wetsuit. I especially felt the pressure after watching 'Snatch' a movie about brad pitt playing an anatomically perfect illegal boxer.

Most of Brad's scenes are spent with the camera under him, making him look heroic, powerful and intimidating, in greyscale scenes with sharp and definite lines, because Brad's a man's MAN'S man. Be like Brad. He's the man.

I remember once I felt so bad about my own body image that for an instant, the words "If I'm not muscular my girlfriend won't have a reason to love me." crossed my mind. Of course , these words were instantly followed by a facepalm so hard I could have painted the wall with my brains. Guys are under just as much pressure from the media as girls. The main difference is that most guys are just ashamed to admit it, or cave under pressure and develop addictions to steroids, or even addictions to working out itself. (Not to say that girls don't develop psychological disorders aswell, of course.)

The Gibson Class

A Gibson guitar is what many think of when one asks about the peak of guitar manufacturing. However, at ranging at $1000-$15000 grand a piece, one would ask if they're truly worth it. An Epiphone Les Paul Standard is anywhere from $400 to $600, about 10-15% of the cost of its Gibson counterpart, at $4,000. They are made by the same company, have the same inner cavities and same hardware, excusing the pickups. Epihpone pickups are $50 ea. Gibson pickups are $100 each. Somehow, I don't see how that becomes the criteria for a $3500 price hike.

The price creates a certain social class; if you are to own a prestigious instrument like a gibson you are to have mastered your instrument. The prices are increased further, because people will pay with their first born in order to become a part of that class. And as the price hikes, the exclusivity increases, making the class of higher and higher stature. One gibson guitar, named The Citation, has one pickup, and one volume knob. (most electric guitars have atleast two pickups, volume knobs, and tone knobs for each. This guitar, is literally the bare minimum of guitar manufacturing and versatility. While you would expect a guitar of this type be priced less than $300, this guitar prices in at $30,000. 300 year old Stradivari violins don't cost that much. This is little more than a polished garbage pile. This guitar is the epitome of materialism-based class structure, a piece of pretty wood that was so expensive that you're too scared to ever use it, only for the most 'elite' of collectors.

There's an alien coming, he's a really swell guy.

I hope he brings an army, and I hope we don't die. (courtesy of the Whitest kids you know)

HEY KIDS! DO YOU LIKE THE RAPTURE?!

Yes, saturday may 21st marked the latest rapture prediction that proved inaccurate. Our dearest nutball Harold Camping, pictured above, the prophet of this calamity, stated that on Saturday, enourmous earthquakes would open the graves of the pure, letting them ascend to God's righteous party-boat, leaving the rest of the planet to die in a series of plagues, earthquakes, tornadoes, G20 summits, and other calamities until October 21st, when god straps the world to a bottle rocket to impress his 2051 year old son. Evidently, this hasn't happened, and it isn't the first time Camping made a mistake. In the 90s he published a book titled "1994?" detailing how this situation would have happened 17 years ago, then afterwards said that his prediction was victim to a mathematical error (Math that was somewhere present in the bible). May 21st marked the 7000th anniversary of the flood of noah's ark, and for such a date, this rain is pathetic. Since the failed prediction, Camping's followers are in an uproar, many of them having quit their jobs, sold their possessions and donated their life savings to Camping's radio broadcast, telling the entire world about impending doom. Camping has reportedly gone into hiding, and his worldwide ministry radio broadcast has gone off the air until further notice. Only goes to show you kids, if you want to be a successful religious leader, hide from your mistakes.

The Businessman Says "Meeeeeth"

I've been noticing a lot of pointless activism lately. I don't mean to say that activism is a bad thing, but a lot if it's being done by people who don't seem too intelligent. Mainly I'm looking at people fighting the advertisement of drugs. Aside from subliminal messaging, I can safely say that I've never seen a commercial for The Friendly Stranger Cannabis Culture shop. They say drugs are advertised in movies, but I've never seen a movie that centers around drugs without the drugs destroying the protagonist. Chiko

A Scanner Darkly Cherry Bomb and Trainspotting, for example

Anyone who says they find positive messages about the use of drugs is finding them because they're looking for them. Like politicians that watch cartoons to prove that Goofy is gay. They say it's the media that gets kids hooked on drugs, but the case is that it's drugs that get kids hooked on drugs. People use drugs in order to escape from a world that they despise, not because their wiped consumer minds tell them to. They then consume not because they're told to, but because they need to. Have you ever gone to the 32nd floor of a corporate building to buy coke out of a briefcase via a man in a suit, smoking a cigar? Doubtful. Teenagers buy and use drugs recreationally with other teens. Corporatocracy doesn't tell kids to do drugs. Other kids tell kids to do drugs.

Working on a trendy production line

Trendiness is the word on everybody's lips. With so many outlets for advertising we are convinced that we need certain items to make us popular. The sad part, of course, is that they do. We are establishing new trends as if they're coming off of a factory line, but people are just running out of ideas to explore. This is not because of a lack of creativity, though, but it is because the media is creating trends faster than designers can imagine them. Because of this unfilled quota, we are repeating ourselves. In the last decade (especially the last 2-3 years) old trends have been resurfacing. Take the fedora for example. Used by middle aged men of the of the 1930s-1950s, it fell out of popularity for a number of decades. Now, inexplicably, these creased bowlers have become 'trendy and fashionable' for all the young lanky lads. Really it just looks like you stepped on your favorite hat.

What I find even more curious is how many 80s products are now once again a part of pop-culture. People were ASHAMED of the 80s. But now, once again we have classic gems like oversized sunglasses (incase you think you don't look bug-eyed enough today), leg-warmers (because who wears pants anymore anyway?), and the new epitome of 80s fusion, JEGGINGS. Oh, dont get me STARTED on Jeggings. They're a piece of latex made to look like jeans, without those annoying pockets or, you know, functionality. However, feel free to spend twice as much on some useless rubber as you would on an actual pair of jeans. Why, you ask? Because these products will make you popular amongst your shallow consumer peers, like they did in the good old days.

Look at this f-ing hipster.